Beauty From Within

Society is a harsh teacher. It teaches us, and more importantly our daughters, that to be beautiful, a certain type of outward attractiveness is most desirable. That certain look varies and changes with popular trends. The biggest lie our daughters believe is the fact that beauty isn’t on the inside and she has to change who she is to reflect that. As her mother, it’s your job to show her what beauty on the inside means and what it really looks like.

Your daughter needs to see you working on yourself as much, if not more than, as you expect her to. The best part is it isn’t hard for you to start being a positive influence in this area.

Beauty is Irrelevant

While it’s true, beauty has some powers of attraction, it will never last. This is not to say your daughter, or anyone, will get ugly. It just means what was once thought of as beautiful and attractive will be different in a matter of weeks. Changing her hair color to orange is great for this month, but what happens next month when green is the new style? Instead of telling her a flat out no, why not suggest to her that her natural hair color is gorgeous? Help her embrace what she already has.

Being a certain size or weight has nothing to do with the relationships she has with her friends and family, her success in life, and so much more. Getting a nose job will not help her get that job she has her eye on. Having the perfect shoes is not going to be important when she is going bowling with her friends. Her physical appearance changes everyday. She shouldn’t assign so much importance to it.

What’s On the Inside

We’ve all heard the saying “it’s what’s on the inside that counts.” While cliches may seem like silly sayings, most of them have merit to them. It really is what’s on the inside that counts. Your daughter could be the most attractive woman in history and it wouldn’t mean a thing if she doesn’t know how to connect with people. It will mean nothing if she screws over each and every person she meets.

Talk to your daughter about what beauty on the inside actually means. Let her know that being kind to others and keeping a positive, healthy mindset is important. Show her what giving to others without the expectation of receiving something in return looks like. Show her how to relate to others and be the kind of person other people love to hang around. Every time you start to think negatively about yourself, make a list of how you exhibit beauty on the inside. Show her your lists and have her make one of her own.

Your Daughter Looks To You

Everything you do, say, think, and how you act is being processed by your daughter. It’s a scary thought, but it’s true. Your daughter sees and copies everything you show her. It may not obvious, but it happens all the time.

How comfortable are you admitting to your own mistakes? Showing your daughter you own your mistakes and are willing to put in the work to correct them will make more of an impression than covering them up and pretending to be perfect. She will feel defeated and hopeless if she sees only your perfection and she can’t live up to it. It will make her feel like she isn’t good enough. And, when you set expectations for her, it will make them that much harder for her to achieve.

Let her see the mistakes you make. Show her how you go about fixing them. Let her into your world and share things with her. You’d be surprised how relieved and happy she is to hear you’ve make mistakes also. Her life will be richer and fuller when she knows and understands what it takes to fix the mistakes she makes. She will be happier when she realizes her beauty comes from how she feels about and responds towards herself and others and not solely based on what she looks like.